She had met him via Live Journal.
His screen name seemed too interesting to pass up and she found herself clicking the “add to friends” button. A few hours later, she received an IM.
SadTango : Yo. This may be pretty weird but you added me, so I thought I'd snoop around your profile and you seemed interesting. Anyways, I feel like I'm rambling. Haha.
Quinn instantly smiled at the IM, imagining a faceless boy mumbling and rambling on. Biting her lip, she stared at the keyboard before finally beginning to type.
Fearless : We could start off with a simple 'nice to meet you' (: No need to be nervous.
Fearless : Well, does this creep have a name?
SadTango : We're going to get along great, huh? Call me Aaron.
Fearless : Aaron? I'm Quinn. It's nice to meet you.
Quinn managed to get along with the person named Aaron and soon enough, she knew a lot about him. He was 20 years old, living in Vancouver in a small apartment by himself.
Fearless : You're so lucky! I have to deal with an annoying mom.
SadTango : Are you kidding me? I wish my mom was around to wash my clothes and cook.
Aaron was an inspiring actor and was majoring in the theater arts. Quinn was jealous of him. Paralyzed from the waist down, she was forced into a wheelchair, only available to fantasize how it felt to live a normal live. Quinn lied and said that she was studying photography at the local art school, and was only staying with her mom to save money. And for a hobby, she would sometimes swim.
SadTango : Photography? That's cool! And this is embarrassing but I don't even know how to swim.
The smile on her face was bitter and distant before her fingers typed out words she could not recognize.
Fearless : Maybe I'll teach you. (: For some acting lessons.
SadTango : Deal.
In reality, Quinn took online classes majoring in Literature and stayed with her mother because she couldn't even get out of bed without someone having to pull her out. For a hobby, she sat at the computer for hours, diving herself into a fantasy world where she could be what she desired until someone started to pick at the truth. Someone likes Aaron. It was a while until Aaron requested photos of her, causing her heart to race and her fingers start to fumble as she looked for her digital camera, her hand working at the wheel of her chair. Thirty minutes later, Quinn had decent photographs. From the waist up.
SadTango : ...
Fearless : ...What?
SadTango : You're fucking CUTE.
Fearless : Eh?!
Quinn's cheeks blushed and she hoped Aaron was pulling one of his cruel jokes over the internet.
SadTango : Blonde hair? It looks nice on you, cute lips too.
Fearless : Shut up.
SadTango : You look like an artist. For real.
Quinn stared at the link before cautiously moving her mouse to click on the image file. The photo slowly loaded to reveal hair, eyes, nose and lips until she noticed she was no longer breathing. She spent what felt like hours staring at the man she could only visualize through words until now. She admired his deep-set sharp eyes and the hint of a warm smile paired with his short red hair.
SadTango : Did I scare you off? Haha.
Fearless : No, no. You're gorgeous.
SadTango : Thanks, but, I'm nothing special.
Fearless : I'm serious!
SadTango : Right back at you. Got a cam?
Quinn soon spent his days waiting for Aaron to sign on, trying not to grin when he accepted the webcam request. With no mic available, they relied on facial expressions and text. Aaron would seem to laugh when Quinn grinned while he showed his acting skill or seem to listen intently when they would type about serious issues.
It was soon until Aaron took over Quinn's thoughts and she began to fantasize. Holding hands with him, hearing his voice in her ear and the smirk on his face when he would tease her. They would occasionally kiss, Quinn imagining it to be absolutely perfect and she would watch her... boyfriend on the movie, admiring him from afar. But just as soon as she started fantasizing, reality came just as fast to throw her down.
SadTango : You should come visit me, you're not that far away and I'm sure it'd be just a bus ride or something.
Quinn's heart stopped and a horrible feeling filled her chest, hallowing out her heart.
SadTango : Why do you look so sad?
Eyes flickered to the screen to show Aaron offering a worried expression. Quinn tried to blink back tears and her lips curved into a small smile.
Fearless : I'd love to, but I don't know when. Finals are coming up and I'll have a lot of projects due.
Reality was there was no way she could get to Vancouver by herself. Her mother would have to drive her and Quinn could not even imagine the reaction Aaron would have when he saw... her. She stared at her legs and contemplated whether or not she would feel too much pain if she sawed them off or if she would lose enough blood to pass out and die. Quinn wanted to scream out, bang her fists against the wall and question God why she had to be like this. Yet, the words never left her mouth. Instead of the computer, Quinn's bed became her sanctuary. She missed Aaron so much...but she didn't deserve him. Aaron had a life going for him, might even become famous. Quinn was trapped in her own body and with fantasies that would soon rot her to nothing.
SadTango : No cam today?
Fearless : No, it's not working.
Lies.
SadTango : Well, I wanted to tell you that I'm moving to Russia! To study in Warsaw!
Quinn had never cried so much.
SadTango : Sorry for not talking too much, the time zone here is CRAZY! I never know what time it is over there.
Conversation was rarely happening and it soon resulted to small talk.
SadTango : I'm fine, a shitload of work! You?
Fearless : It's okay... still as busy as ever. Look, I have to tell you something...
SadTango : SHIT! I gotta go. I promise I'll talk to you later this weekend.
Words were quick to slip away and Quinn knew she was not a priority in Aaron's life.
Fearless : Aaron...
SadTango signed off at 4:35AM
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