Minggu, 22 Mei 2011

A Brief and Accurate Description of World War II

Since this is the first time I post a scarlet in this blog, (knowing that this scarlet is the 4th edition already) let's just pray that i don't get yelled by my head of division.

Check this one out, the first online scarlet!


A Brief and Accurate Description of World War II

Germany invades Czechoslovakia. Britain & France tell them to stop that bullshit.

Germany invades Poland.(Russia also invades Poland from the other side: everybody forgets this.)

Britain & France declare war. This is the 'official' kick-off.

Italy, Bulgaria, Hungary, & Romania all join the German side. (Everybody forgets the last three.)

Axis forces go through Europe like vindaloo through a colostomy.

Nazis exterminate Jews, gays, gypsies, & the disabled. (everybody remembers the jews but forgets the rest.)

UK holds out. Russia & the USA don't do shit.

Entire divisions of Danish, Belgian, Dutch, Norwegian, French & Serbian volunteers join the Axis armies & SS. (everybody forgets this & to listen to them now, they were all in the F*CKING resistance, which must have been MASSIVE.)

Axis forces invade Russia. Suddenly the Russians don't think it's funny anymore.

Japan joins the Axis & bombs Pearl Harbor. Suddenly the US doesn't think it's funny anymore.

The USA tools up the world, 'cause it's got more factories than everybody else put together, & they're out of bomber range.

Axis runs out of steam in Russia, cause Russia's enormous & bloody freezing.

Allies invade on D-Day… 5 landings: 2 British, 2 American, 1 Canadian. (everybody forgets the Canadians.)

Hitler ends up smouldering in a ditch. Russians find the body & confirm he only had one ball. Seriously.

The US decides invading stuff is a pain in the ass and invents the atom bomb instead. Drops two buckets of sunshine on Japan.

Russians steal half of Europe.

UK's spent almost every penny it had.

US starts telling everybody how it was all about them, & 64 years later is still doing so.

“Some of the World War II guys in 'Call of Duty' have, like, foreign accents… what's up with that?”


Okay, well, that's a story that i put in our 4th scarlet, thank you.

"The rush of battle is often a potent and lethal addiction, for war is a drug"

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